Almost...

            Tonight your wet body sprinkled
          with a garment of soft white sand
        melds with mine. I slowly undress you
      with my kisses as the waves play tag with our feet.
     Your yearning hands caress my skin
  like seagulls bouncing on the edge of water.
I sigh your name senselessly, a prayer
breathed again and again in a moment of rising urgency.
  Many nights have I longed for your coal black hair,
    your lithe eel-like body, your starfish fingers,
      the hidden treasures of your twinkling eyes,
        and tonight I will show you how much once again,
          as the silent shiny quarter moon is our witness.
            Our fingers entwine sensuously like algae
          and our sighs gradually become gasps.
        Our rhythm rises with the tide, it becomes the tide.
      Your legs wrap around me like muscled wings,
    as if you felt that I might leave, drift-
  wood carried away with the surf of the ocean.
Your nails burrow a deep trench of
passion into my back, crawl into my flesh,
  prickling every nerve in my tension-strung body.
    Our breaths become ragged crabs rushing over the sands of time,
      the sharp cries of the seagulls become nonexistant.
        The sweat on our dolphin-slicked bodies flows out
          into the wet seafoam as the ocean sings
            a thunderous harmony to the sweet melody
          of your delirious beggings.
        I feel your octopus-muscles pulsating
      beneath me your skin rubbing hot against my skin.
    Your each yes, yes, YES! crashes like wave after wave into my ears,
  your hips rise higher against me, tsunamis beating against my stomach
and I feel as if our drowning of flesh into flesh
had suddenly been fast-forwarded.
  Your eyes close like clamshells,
    your mouth opens and I covet your pearled tongue with deep
      sucking kisses, your back arches, your body tightens slowly
        harder, harder!
          as a rope stretched to the limit and
            from your throat rises short sharp screams of ecstasy.
          You are the seagull, I am the air. Your shrieks pierce the sky,
        affirming my own climactic madness. I...

      bang my head violently. From my throat
          escapes a painful scream of confusion.
            Sprawled on the cold wooden floor,
              my pillow in my arms, the cold break  of
                dawn forces
                  me to realize with agony that you are
                    an unsavoured wine, though I am still drunk
                      of you.

Apparition

At the most unexpected time, in the most inopportune place,
I turn my head, and you are there,
a proud, divine beauty in her full sensual womanhood:
your naked arms hiding under the black lace shirt, tempting me;
your muscular, golden thighs, and your long, slender calves thrusting out
from a half-slit white silk skirt not so carelessly draped to the side;
your vulnerable heel, half-undressed by your dangling cream-white shoe;
and your black copper-tinged hair swimming
about your shoulders, with a few loose strands keeping
your eyes from me. It all seems a devious, careful stratagem.
And then, you turn to look at me. From such a distance,
I can almost hear you whispering to my heart,
Tonight I am yours. Take me. Want me. Desire me!
And my heart catches on fire like silk,
consumed by agonizing yearning, yet beating twice as strong.
I turn away from your gaze, unable to believe this erotic vision.
Then you are gone, as if you had never been there, and so
is the life from my limbs! And I pray,
Come back! You are my obsession! I must have you!
My eyes search for you
in the crowds. You are everywhere, but yet you are nowhere.
Where are you?
You have been etched onto my mind, like God's Word on Mount Sinai.
I must have you! Where are you?
If I had not turned away, if I had believed,
I would not have given you the chance to disappear.
Come back! I must have you! Where are you?

Chanson d'Amour (Délice de mon cœur) O, délice de mon cœur, Mon suppplice et mon bonheur, Ta beaute enivre tous mes sens comme une liqueur. Dans mes rêves chaque nuit, Je t'emporte bien loin d'ici, Je te prends dans mes bras, et tu m'embrasses Avec oubli. Mais hélas, mon orgueil et mon souci, Mes ennemis, ils se mefient, Il m'empêchent de te dire Que la vie ne veut rien dire Sans toi. O délice de mon cœur, Mon supplice et mon malheur, Chaque jour sans toi est la pire des douleurs, Car je te désire avec fureur, O delice de mon cœur.

Song of Love (Delight of my heart) O delight of my heart, My torture, and my bliss, Your beauty, intoxicates all my senses Like a liquor. In my dreams every night, I carry you off far, far from here, I take you in my arms and embrace you, With abandon. But alas, my pride and my anguish, My enemies, they are wary, They restrain me from telling you That life means nothing Without you. O delight of my heart, My torture and my bliss, Each day without you is the worst of sufferings, For I want you with ardor, O delight of my heart.

Confessions
To Betsee Sadlier

I was alone,

Left in a corner of the world,
One human toy without
Value...
Epilepsy of the soul.

You came silently
Out of the social
Underbrush.

Battering my defenses with your innocence,
Even your smile was carelessly
Thrown at me like a catapulted boulder, and
Suddenly, you vanquished my pride, besieged my heart, and
Emprisoned me in the promise of your smile.
Eternally.

India

Your charcoal hair, flowing down like billowing incense in a holy temple.
Your tight copper-toned skin, soft and silky as newly kneaded dough.
Your frail red lips, holy and erotic as two lotus leaves.
Your piercing eyes, deep and pure as twin Himalayan lakes.
Your limbs, graceful, quick, supple as the six arms of Vishnu.
Your blissful innocent mind, still untainted by the lies of this world.
Like a yogi in a cave, oblivious to mortal affairs,
your zeal for life focused and pure as the fierce, blazing Indian sun.
How I wish I could hear your voice, the flute of Krsna that would lead me
into a frenzied surrender to you.
How I yearn to see your smile, the sword of Shiva that would destroy
with one blow the defenses that keep me apart from you.
You are the sage hidden in the little child, and I, powerful Indra
kneel powerlessly before your feet.
My eyes have not seen you.
I can no longer love you.
Now I must worship you.

Kamikaze

Hurl yourself
into my arms.
Let your lips crash
against my lips.
Throw your hands
on my body.
Let my kisses
be your overdose.
With frenzied abandon,
make love to me.
Commit yourself
to me.

Laundromat Dreams

Thoughts of you
tumble and turn in my mind
like my clothes on the spin cycle,
and the contained hum of the machines
is the mantra which lulls me back
into your world.
Through half-closed eyes, I see you
float your smile to me, and I remember
that it was here I first saw it,
a smile innocent yet devious,
with your freckled nose crinkled on the bridge,
your wooden hair cropped short,
your blue eyes steadily washing over me like a spring stream...
a reflection in the rippled pools
of misty fantasy,
I sigh to myself philosophically...
your voice is but an echo
bouncing off the silence of my drunken stupor,
boredom,
faint enough to be too distant,
clear enough to be too close.
A loose coin clanking irregularly
against the window of the drier is
the lifeline
which binds me to this world:
it jars my senses, reminding me that
I am here, and not with you.
The drier stops, washing
me back into my body.
I put another dime in the slot,
hoping
to buy a little more of that time
with you, if only in my dreams.

My Venus

O my Venus!
You have abruptly emerged into my life
from the tightly-sealed shell of Unknowingness.
And the moment I cast my eyes upon You
was the moment I cast my very heart into
the depths of oblivious, tormented, maddening desire.
My eyes worship You! Your pencil-etched eyebrows
encircling dark, serious eyes,
Your faery-pink ears, Your freckled nose,
Your copper-earthen mane, draped about you,
it is the burning cape of Hercules wrapped around my yearning heart.
As I watch Your dangerously sensuous fingers take
on a life of their own like the snakes upon Medusa's head,
how I pray that one day, You will beg me
to put my lips upon them!
And O, Your body! A moving hourglass
confined in a tightly-fit glove, supple yet
with a firm steel grip upon my self-control.
As Your hips move like a pendulum, I am hypnotized
by the erotically innocent beauty of your muscular fleshly legs
that strive to escape from their multicoloured prison.
Talk to me! Make me Yours! I am Your slave!
You need but rub my bashful ears with Your honeyed words!
I can of mine own self be but mute to Your every wish
unless You loose the cork and seal of my society-damned civilism
and let escape the vapours of my feverish, heart-rending passion.
I cannot be Yours until You make Yourself mine,
O my Venus!

Love Seed

I planted a seed,
and I watered it with Love.
I watched it grow, and helped it bloom,
I felt its roots unsurely reach
for the protection of my steadfastness.
Soon, my little sapling stood
proud and tall like me.
Yet one day, it shook beneath the wind
and its every member quivered frightfully.
So I caressed it and whispered to it,
I will be here always,
growing old with you.
It is me in whom your roots have taken hold.
When you are a tree, old and wise,
the seed I once planted will still remain
inside of you, a part of me.
And if you fall, or lose sight of the stars,
know only this, that you also
have planted your seed in my heart.

Regrets
To Linda Anselmo

Half-drunk with your beauty,
and half-drunk with a drink that I never needed,
I stand here, gazing at you,
and just watching your lips move.
The noise around me,
though it seems like the humdrum
beating of a thousand hooves,
is but a lullaby.
The people around me,
just like wandering ghosts,
do not exist.
Nothing matters
but you.
I yearn to touch you,
to kiss you.
But the drug has not taken effect
yet.
I still hold my pride,
my common sense,
my doubtful questions,
like a greedy man holds his gold.
I keep drinking,
I keep hoping
that suddenly I will
stop making excuses and kiss
you.
But that moment never came.
And now,
I regret
not having told you
how beautiful you looked tonight.

Rie

I can barely hear your laughter.
It is a faint, hollow echo
bouncing within the deep recesses of my heart.
Even in the stillness of silence,
it never leaves me. It is my whispering angel,
it is my soul-connection to you.

Yet now that I am without you,
my life, my world, seems void of laughter.
Like a heaven without its angel,
my happiness is but an echo
of the deep, crushing silence
that permeates my heart.

This heavy, lonely heart
can only be lifted up by you...
this crystal wall of silence
can only be shattered by your laughter.
Laugh again! Strengthen the echo
before it flies away like a frightened angel.

You, you are my angel!
I will listen to my heart!
The whole universe will echo
with the confession of my love for you!
Even in sadness, there is laughter,
because I know that you reign in my silence.

To drown this infectious, toxic silence,
that will take more than an angel!
It can only be done by your kisses, your laughter!
Because within the deep recesses of my heart,
this cynical calmness without you,
I am afraid that it, now, becomes the echo.

I am tormented by this siren's echo!
It has planted the seed of Desire in my silence.
It has revealed to me another side of you:
you are temptress as well as angel,
and in the divine garden of my heart,
your luscious fruit is your laughter.

I hear your laughter now, still a faint, hollow echo
surfacing on my heart and diving back in to the silence.
Between desire for seductress and awe for angel, there is love for you.

Reminiscence

Like a swan, graceful and proud,
You glide across the lake of my eyes.
I am left with quiet desperation
As beauty ripples out from you.

You glide across the lake of my eyes,
Your smile leaves a wake of hopes.
As beauty ripples out from you,
My heart is flooded with uncertainty.

Your smile leaves a wake of hopes.
I fish for something to say, but
My heart is flooded with uncertainty.
My words are but sunken rocks.

I fish for something to say, but
Your beauty drowns all my thoughts.
My words are but sunken rocks.
You have disturbed the waters of my existence.

Your beauty drowns all my thoughts.
I have been sadder ever since
You have disturbed the waters of my existence.
Everything was so peaceful before.

I have been sadder ever since
You have disappeared from my life.
Everything was so peaceful before
The tides of Life carried you away.

You disappeared from my life
Like a swan, graceful and proud.
The tides of Life carried you away.
I am left with quiet desperation.

Siren

Your flirtatious smile was the whirlwind
which hurled me into the waters of
yearning confusion. I drown
my gaze into the sea of your flowing wavy hair.
My eyes cling to your divine face
like a shipwreckedmanclingstodriftwood.
Your  l  o   n  g  supple fingers EXCITE my desire
like the tentacles of an octopus toying with
its prey. I do not resist,
but let myself be                 washed away
by your enchanting laughter.
I wanted to kiss you,
but my will has disappeared like a         treasure,
                                                   sunken
into the depths of my shyness.
Dive into my lips and retrieve
the Lost Kiss.

Snake Dancer

Her armS undulate like the Sentient armS of Vishnu, drawing me to her
like twin Snake charmerS. Her body SwayS back and forth in the currentS of primordial Space.
Her kohl-black hair and matching pencil-etched eyebrowS tinged with blue,
like the double-edged Sword of grace and beauty,
cut away at my will to reSiSt.
Under her rainbow beladi Skirt, her white legS
taunt me, play hide and Seek with my longing eyeS.
Her long Slender anklet-adorned feet, with the tinkling Sound of a Summer rain,
careSS the earth, and the earth iS my eyeS, and the earth iS my heart.
Her hip ShimmieS, like a prayer,
teach me how to pray, teach me the dance of deSire.
Air iS her element:
She glideS on it aS a Snake glideS on the Sand.
Her obliviouS eyeS wander in the depthS of her concentration
(have the godS ever looked upon the mortalS that beg for them?
Their univerSe, So diStant from ourS!)
AS her whiSpering zillS exchange a zar with my Shouting handS,
aS my poSSeSSed Spirit, like a Jinn, guideS her into the realmS of Nirvana,
the pulSe of my doumbek, the pulSe of my heart, pleadS out to her,
What Sacrifice would you have of me? What taSk will you put upon my deSire?
And my SenSeS cannot help but Sigh,
If you had two more pairS of armS
verily I could abandon my God and
I could worShip you.

Soulmates

Strangers are we
among strangers,
yet i explore you
with my gaze,
A blaspheming man robbing
the treasures
of the incas... skin as indian clay,
lips sparkling like rubies,
Your hair, darker than a moonless night,
onyx eyes,
and that beauty mark,
on your cheek.
I am drunk
as a diver i have stared
too long i must resist
you offer me
Temptation innocently
like an unknowing child offering a flame
to her finger i long to
touch your hand it is so close.
No, distanced
by social etiquette,
uncertainty... the mind lies
suddenly
Our gazes lock
you turn to me and
just for a second you smile
it shocks me like a bucket of ice
Water thrown on
a sleeping man i am
aware that you, finally,
have also violated my privacy.

Tug of War

You were a wild night
mare.
I cannot hold you any longer with my love's bridle.
I tried to pull you in, I tried to tame you with promises.
But I could feel you fidgeting, muscles pulsating beneath me,
restless, hungering for the night of adversity,
your tongue always hopping and rearing and kicking
and then you threw me off
balance
by telling me I did not love you,
as if I had never had a right to love you,
as if I had never had a chance to make you mine,
as if I had never had the power to illuminate you
with the brilliance of my tenderness.
But I got back on, held on, and refused to believe
that we were riding into the dark mists of mistrust.
I could only see the sleek beauty of your fierce body,
I was blind to the sweet horror of your mad desire for
freedom.
And so you pulled,
and that bridle burned into the flesh of my hands as I pulled against you.
And though I kept pulling and holding you back with more promises
I can pull no longer, Becky. I am tired.
I am tired of pulling. I am tired of fighting. You
go! Go
back to your wilderness, back to
being alone,
being free.
And my bleeding hands will heal, and my longing heart will mend
and maybe I will regret having let you go,
and maybe someone else will be willing to bleed enough for you.
But yet now I know that all you are, after all, is a
night mare.
And somewhere awaits my
day dream.